INTRODUCING FLASH 'THE COMPASS' BOGI

Recent changes on flatmates saw Jax move out to the other side of Cork City, just below the cusp of prime Knocknaheeny real-estate. Knocknaheeny, for the uninitiated is an idyllic quiet suburban model village, occupied by friendly approachable locals and surrounded by well-kept fields, and on a bright sunny day, I like nothing better than passing these fields and counting the burnt out cars, keeping an eye out for any fresh graffititied murals or heart-warming community messages.

It’s just such a pity it’s so far away, just over 50 minutes by foot, at a hastened pace. Undeterred by my failed short-cut attempt which almost had me walk through some fella’s back garden and go off the edge of a cliff (Somewhere Over the Ballyhooley Road), I tried to devise a short cut out towards Jax’s new gaff. I whipped out a map and plotted my course, and set out in the Mediterranean-style noontime heat, to discover the ultimate short-cut to Jax’s place.

An hour and twenty minutes later I finally arrived at her Monastery Hill address, walking with my own body weight in sweat in my shoes, with a fresh frying-pan tan from my hairline to my farmers-tan borders. I was welcomed with a ritualistic slating and – thankfully – a cool can of Carlsberg ™ .

“Why didn’t you ask for directions?” I was asked.
My response was one of wide–eyed incredulity.
“Because I have a penis,” I calmly responded.