YAHTZEE NAZI
Not having a television is bad for your mental health. Too many nights in the local, with no entertainment to go home to except a puzzle-book, a Scrabble board and a travel version of Guess Who. A shopping trolley on the way home from the pub becomes a veritible endophin-overloading medium of pleasure. I had Donna, my tiny wee Aussie flatmate pushing me in it up the topographical nazi that is the hill of Wellington Row. Her child-like muscles struggled with my portly frame, veering me this way and that until eventually crashing me into a car. A sing-song Cork cry rang out: "Be Careful!" signifiying that - the talented people that we were - we managed to whack against the only occupied parked car in the whole of the McCurtain Street environs.
Pure skill.
In an effort, then, to try and get us to spend more evenings at home not getting into mischief, Donna decided that buying dice was the only way to go -demonstating perfectly reasonable logic - and relax with some evening games of Yahtzee. I suggested nude wrestling but she wasn't going for it. I met her in the city centre and so began our quest to find dice. Toymaster, Smyths, the 2-Euro Store, both Euro Stores, The Pound Shop, the "Mmmad!" gadget shop, the other gadget shop, The Discount Store, the other Discount store, Other Realms, The Sports stores, Tescos, Dunnes, The English Market - none of them had dice, and Donna even found it hard to understand why newsagents didn't have them. I told her that lose dice weren't really stockable items, because most people lacked a degree of sanity that she lacked. So, our tails between our legs, we were about to head to the pub in consolation when we happened upon a small oldey-worldy toyshop called Pinochio's, where they stocked every variety of Donna's dice, whereupon she spent half an hour deciding on colours, and the another half-an-hour deciding on a size. This is a woman, after all, who spent a month trying to buy Jeans, and will only buy bog roll from Dunnes 'cause Tescos turd paper is "too expensive." So home we went to play Yahtzee, which is far shittier than our lost afternoon warrented; and do you know what else? It's perfectly playable in the pub.
Yahtzee: All you get is dice in a big box
4 comments:
Dice are the tool of the devil. Every game should have you move one square each.
As for games entirely composed of dice ... they're the most evil of them all.
while reached the middle of your post i was ready to head for the store and buy you the dice and ship them over to ireland. luckily everything is not lost there, you could solve your problem yourself:))) i am proud for you and the irish market!
Just saw a boxset for Yahtzee Texas Hold-Em poker! Was tempted to buy it after reading your post but to be honest my morbid curiosity was outweighted by my extreme poverty
Store-bought yahtzee is a scam. It's a bit like Coca-cola trying to sell you water. All you have to do is know the rules and have 5 dice. If you can find them that is. By the bye since that epic journey to find those dice I've sat down to play it ONCE.
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