THE FLOG HAS ALL THE ANSWERS

Recently Wired.com posted 42 questions to which we don't know the answer to. Now some mistake me for being scientifically inept, so I thought, sure I'll have a go at some of em.

Q. What's at the Earth's Core?
A. Loads of dinosaurs and James Mason.

Q. Is time an illusion?
A. Yes

Q. How does a fertilized egg become a human?
A. It goes into this glass yoke like in Superman 2 and it loses its powers.

Q. Why is fundamental physics so messy?
A. It stared out not so messy. Then its mother cleaned up after it all the time, and then when it became more developed, it was its girlfriend. Seriously, we've all said this fundamental physics like a million times, but still it's us who never get our Radiohead CDs back because it's left it in some hidden crevice of the universe.

Q. Why don’t we understand turbulence?
A. Because it speaks with its mouth full

Q. Why do the poles reverse?
A. Cause they realise they can only get crap jobs in Ireland as as well.

A. If there is life on other planets, why haven’t they contacted us?
Q. Would you if you were them?

Q. Where are my keys?
A. There.